Gay, black and loud- the hallmarks of Black Lives Matter

Liberal media outlets are going crazy over the cheek-clenching story of the little black boy born in an ex-mining town, who was “bullied for his love of dance dick grinding”. Real-life Billy Elliot done his ma and pa real proud when he told ’em he wanted to twerk his way to dance school and swim in a sea of negro cock.

He’s only been taking it up the hoo ha for two years, but that was enough for him to know he’s found his calling in life. Yeah, ’cause the last thing the world needs now is a black ballet fagster. We’re really that progressive now.

Btw, he’s collecting donations if you wanna contribute to the dream of a young negro on his quest to converting his exit hole into a busier spot than Hooters on a Friday.

From bad to worse in a negro second

Imagine you’re in court for a traffic ticket – just your run-of-the-mill negro day, nothing fancy. And then, by some divine interference (you know, because God is also racist – how else can you explain such incidents, right? Racial profiling much?) an innocent item falls out of your pocket. Only it’s not the home-made clip of you and your baby momma Tangilique, but the bag ‘o cocaine you blew your child support money on and were planning on snorting off her cellulite-ridden ass later.

Not cool, bro. Not cool.

Blacks are not convinced that Black Lives Matter

In the most unspeakable act of police brutality to date – the American police force has released footage of horrible unprovoked beating of a Bronx street vendor by a group of men to track the perpetrators down. Now, while this would have all been fine – the fact of the matter is all perpetrators are black, which makes this extremely inappropriate, racist and racially-motivated.

No motif has been identified yet, although given the victim’s professional background as a street vendor – we can bet our money it had to do with some under-cooked chicken.

These are the Days of Your Negro Lives

Finally, there is a reason for Black Lives Matter to exist, and it’s to stop the unnecessary and completely unwarranted black-on-black violence over at Nando’s. A nigger can’t drink his grape juice and eat his fried chicken in peace no more. The fuck is wrong with this world?!

Apparently, a bananarama mama got a craving for some chicken dumb-sticks and went over with other ratchet pals Bon’Quisha, Mo’Nique and Fo’Landra to the fine eatery. They had planned a quiet afternoon in the ghetto; as quiet as negro hoes can be, of course. That was until Racquel saw her ex with a new cellulite-laden ebony specimen and lost her few remaining marbles. What ensued was worse than the type of things that go down behind closed doors at the ghetto. It’s a good thing Racquel works as a care worker and can keep her shit together as she only limited herself to screaming, punching and kicking the man in the chest, picking up and throwing glasses on the table.We can’t imagine what would have happened otherwise.

DISCLAIMER:No fried chicken was wasted during the altercation.

Reverse conspiracy

It’s hot in the Arabic peninsula and muslims are getting more ridiculous than ever, but that’s a common sign of heatstroke and reading a retarded manual written by a pedophile. So, now, apparently, the dune coons are worried that condoms, pills and contraceptive altogether is an evil Western plot to stop them from infesting the Earth with their pungent brown seed.

Yeah, THAT’s the real conspiracy…Not the flooding of all Western countries with illegal ISIS-trained goat fuckers, who rub testicles with each other and rape young girls and boys every chance they get, but have the nerve to call us pervs.

When you’re thinking out of your ass, bad things are gonna happen

As if the collective human society is not busy enough with the anal thoughts, desires, grievances and what-not of the butt fairy terrorists of the LGBT-LMNOP community – now even scientists got sucked in too (we hope to God, only metaphorically). Apparently, in their quest to determine why some blokes like to get rammed in their exit holes and others – to stuff their peckers in the sewage pipes of other folk – “scientists” were looking for a genetic component to these unnatural, unhealthy and ungodly drives. You know, ’cause genetics determines EVERY-thing and it’s nature over nurture…Oh wait..

Anywho, what they found, of course, was not what they expected, but that’s the thing with pederasty – you go places you’re not supposed to, you’re gonna get your, eeerrrrr, hands dirty. In a nutshell, their report reads: “that ‘bottoms’ were more likely to be left-handed and have older brothers, while ‘tops’ were more likely to be right-handed and have younger sisters.” Which, alongside the atrocious statistics of childhood abuse and rape by a member of the same sex given by LGBT groups, really reads as follows:

Butt fairies who got their little asses pounded by an older male as kids grow up to be little faggots, who continue to take it up the hoo-ha.

as opposed to

Butt fairies, who raped a smaller girl or boy (namely sibling) when they were young and naughty, grow up to be dominant sadists, who continue getting off on the feeling of power and humiliation over their partner.

Jeez, we could’ve saved you a few thousand quid and told you the findings of this so-called “research” without sending “scientists” balls-deep in the butt grievances of emotionally and psychologically damaged delinquents.

Bros before hoes, sort of

You gotta appreciate the biggest gang in the world known deceitfully as a religion. Yeah, Islam may be a lot of things, but religion ain’t one of them. Other than that, joining the cult sure comes with lots of perks. Like, other perpetually sexually frustrated retarded sand monkeys having your back (sometimes literally apart from figuratively, but, hey, we all have to make sacrifices sometimes).

In today’s prime example of human retardation we have a metaphorical case of the gang-mentality¬† ‘bros before hoes’ motto. Except, the ‘hoe’ was the Camel Stuffer’s own sister, who got sold into prostitution several times after she turned 12 by her own relatives. The nerve of that child! To allow herself to get kidnapped, trafficked and raped and ruin the family’s honor like that! Good thing brother dearest stepped up and fixed things like a ‘good Muslim’ (haha, get it?)

Women:0 – Logic:1

In a shocking new turn of events the bat-shit crazy broad, who swung at a bouncer in Liverpool and took a punch like Rhianna in her happier Chris Brown days, has come out on Twitter as a model and a victim of terrible wrongdoing. Gulp, gulp. We did NOT see that one coming (edit: we’re just messing with ya. Yeah, we did!). The deluded blob is relying on the 69th Amendment – her right to claim ‘manhandling’ as something that exists every time little Miss Spoilt doesn’t get her way. In this case, she says it was him who “started the altercation, having dragged her out of the club by the leg when she got up and danced on a table“. So, she was just defending her drunken honor to act like every bit the public nuisance that she was and assaulting a man, who was just doing his job, was part of it. Sure, honey, in Snowflakeville – that may make sense, but in the real world when you act like a crazy menstrual sack of shit – You’re Gonna Have a Bad Time.

Equality is a bitch, ladies. Just like you are. Get used to it!