Reverse Racism ‘doesn’t exist

Apparently the Harris-Stowe State University decided to fire a white professor to make the college ‘blacker’. We can think of quite a few ‘upgrades’ they’re planning on instituting next to make this a stellar ghetto facility:

  • Standardizing all food on campus to the ‘negro package’ of fried chicken, watermelon and grape juice
  • Commissioning a medicinal marijuana dispensary on campus
  • Opening an office on campus for fast and secure child support payments
  • Partnering with Universal or another major music company for installing vending machines around campus, where aspiring blacks can submit their mixed tapes
  • Building a monument of Beyonce or Obama or Obeyonce

Double Standards

A sexually frisky imam from Cardiff found himself in neck-deep shit when it came (haha, get it?) to the attention of parents and authorities that he molested “primary school girls as young as five as they listened to him reciting the Koran”. Hey,  we get it man. You start reading a book that describes the sweaty sandy fantasies of a pedophile – you’re bound to get carried away. Shit happens.

But next time you catch that jungle gym fever, remember you’re on Western soil now. And in Western Europe whenever a grown-ass man has unhealthy cravings for some tender underage lamb – we do things differently. See, even our pedophiles have standards and adhere to certain rules. So buckle up and start integrating, you goat pedosaurus.

They don’t have that kind of crazy even in a mental institution

While Swedish feminists are keeping busy, preparing to dance around a statue to protest the white Western patriarchy (all pointlessness aside, at least that liberal dance diploma will finally come handy), in Denmark ‘peaceful Muslims’ are resolving their family conflicts the only way the know…through respectful dialogue. Wait, scratch that, sorry. That was the intolerant white Western patriarchy.

Muslims do thing differently. For instance, when a Muslim family dislikes their daughter’s boyfriend – the indignant papa and brother kidnap the lad, douse him in gasoline, threaten to execute him and tie him up. Oh, and rape him for about two hours. You know,  ’cause nothing protects the family honor quite like having rapists, sadists and demented psychopaths as part of your extended family.

Gay, black and loud- the hallmarks of Black Lives Matter

Liberal media outlets are going crazy over the cheek-clenching story of the little black boy born in an ex-mining town, who was “bullied for his love of dance dick grinding”. Real-life Billy Elliot done his ma and pa real proud when he told ’em he wanted to twerk his way to dance school and swim in a sea of negro cock.

He’s only been taking it up the hoo ha for two years, but that was enough for him to know he’s found his calling in life. Yeah, ’cause the last thing the world needs now is a black ballet fagster. We’re really that progressive now.

Btw, he’s collecting donations if you wanna contribute to the dream of a young negro on his quest to converting his exit hole into a busier spot than Hooters on a Friday.

From bad to worse in a negro second

Imagine you’re in court for a traffic ticket – just your run-of-the-mill negro day, nothing fancy. And then, by some divine interference (you know, because God is also racist – how else can you explain such incidents, right? Racial profiling much?) an innocent item falls out of your pocket. Only it’s not the home-made clip of you and your baby momma Tangilique, but the bag ‘o cocaine you blew your child support money on and were planning on snorting off her cellulite-ridden ass later.

Not cool, bro. Not cool.

Blacks are not convinced that Black Lives Matter

In the most unspeakable act of police brutality to date – the American police force has released footage of horrible unprovoked beating of a Bronx street vendor by a group of men to track the perpetrators down. Now, while this would have all been fine – the fact of the matter is all perpetrators are black, which makes this extremely inappropriate, racist and racially-motivated.

No motif has been identified yet, although given the victim’s professional background as a street vendor – we can bet our money it had to do with some under-cooked chicken.

These are the Days of Your Negro Lives

Finally, there is a reason for Black Lives Matter to exist, and it’s to stop the unnecessary and completely unwarranted black-on-black violence over at Nando’s. A nigger can’t drink his grape juice and eat his fried chicken in peace no more. The fuck is wrong with this world?!

Apparently, a bananarama mama got a craving for some chicken dumb-sticks and went over with other ratchet pals Bon’Quisha, Mo’Nique and Fo’Landra to the fine eatery. They had planned a quiet afternoon in the ghetto; as quiet as negro hoes can be, of course. That was until Racquel saw her ex with a new cellulite-laden ebony specimen and lost her few remaining marbles. What ensued was worse than the type of things that go down behind closed doors at the ghetto. It’s a good thing Racquel works as a care worker and can keep her shit together as she only limited herself to screaming, punching and kicking the man in the chest, picking up and throwing glasses on the table.We can’t imagine what would have happened otherwise.

DISCLAIMER:No fried chicken was wasted during the altercation.

Reverse conspiracy

It’s hot in the Arabic peninsula and muslims are getting more ridiculous than ever, but that’s a common sign of heatstroke and reading a retarded manual written by a pedophile. So, now, apparently, the dune coons are worried that condoms, pills and contraceptive altogether is an evil Western plot to stop them from infesting the Earth with their pungent brown seed.

Yeah, THAT’s the real conspiracy…Not the flooding of all Western countries with illegal ISIS-trained goat fuckers, who rub testicles with each other and rape young girls and boys every chance they get, but have the nerve to call us pervs.